Saturday, November 9, 2013
Sits in the back garden being gobbled up by flowering vines. They crawl in a tangle up the back, one side and across the top, throwing tendrils down the front, reaching to the ground. Their profuse growth would soon obscure the front window and block the doorway if not occasionally cut back. Pink flowers bloom amongst the chaos most abundantly in the Spring and Winter months but still offer the occasional splash of pale color year round.
Sitting inside with a view out onto lush green, with various flowering bushes and trees, watching the morning washing flapping at the breeze and warmed by dappled sunlight, I corral my wandering mind back into this moment and simply appreciate.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Sitting outside this morning in quiet reflection, watching the rain fall softly on green grass, while the wind made the trees sway and dance and birds sang and flutterd at the feeder. Wanting to just relax and meditate for a while, I first tried to clear my thoughts of memories of songs that kept playing in my head, and the intent to go to Spain, wondering if it could be possible. I remember thinking that while I am meditating maybe my intent should just be my desire to go to Spain to live for a short while.
Lost in these thoughts and just wanting to allow them, almost without my notice, I began to "see and hear" something quiet different than my first desire. I heard the voice of a black preacher. His voice rose and fell and rose again to a crescendo, up into the air, and through the trees branches. I laughed inwardly to think of all things I was hearing a black preacher telling me the most profound message that I have ever heard!
As my feet splashed in the puddles that crept across the concrete patio and the rain continued to whisper down from the sky he said these words.
"The Ego wants it, the Higher Self creates it. The two are one, a team. They work together. Why do you continue to listen to those who have forgotten just as much as you have, tell you that you've got to get rid of the ego, its a bad thing? Without the Ego expressing desire or inent, what would the Higher Self be creating?
Ego has forgotten who they are! Who and what they are a part of. Ego and Higher Self (or God if you will) are one! They are Gods and Goddessess, who are Divine, Eternal, Pure, Higher vibrational energy beings who broke off little pieces of their unique personal Selves to set them into particular realities they made and said, now go live, experience. This is the script I wrote for us so embrace it all. Be appreciating every experience and when that one's done, we'll decide where to put us next. Ego has come a long way from where it started and got to forgetting. Ego now has full stage Alziemers! Ego is now stumbling, wandering, combatting and basically gone off on its own as it moves through this fog of dullness. Not only does Ego have Alziemers, it's got cataracts! Blind as a bat and a little crazy. Lost and forgetting it's Higher Self for ages. It has come to believe that the Source of it's origin is somewhere "out there." That Ego must live to please that "someone out there," and not piss him off or there will be hell to pay!
But it's all been a creative experience between Ego and Source. Ego has reached a time when it begins to remember, slowly sometimes and way too fast at other times.
Now is the time for the new creation. It's time for Ego to remember that it creates the intent and Source carries out that intent.
Ego with the experiences comes to have all the kinds of ideas, desires, inent to make it possible for soure to know what to create. A new era, world, reality?
I don't have all the answers, I have forgotten the same as everone else, and am only just waking up myself. So until we have more complete and total recall. Peace!"
And that's what my black preacher said to me this morning.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
It looks increasingly clear to me that our government is not listening to us. The people that we elected to look after our intrests are not. They are busy protecting big corporations, making themselves super wealthy. Bullying and overthrowing other nations. We can sign all the petitons we want to sign. We can vote the basterds in or out it really doesn't matter anymore. We can listen to new politicians tell us that they will change things, they will do what we sent them to Washington to do. Have we not learned by now that they are all liars and they will tell us what we want to hear just to get elected? Once they get into that system the Devil takes their souls and blinds their eyes with greed and plugs up their ears to our outrage.
I finally believe now that the only way to fight them is to become as self sufficient as we can. There are many ways within our own communities that we can do that, we just have to look around at where we live and find our own resources. Are you angry about Monsanto? Grow your own food. There are many places where we can find GMO free seeds. Some of us even have family who have been growing their own food for decades and have saved their seeds from season to season, year after year and we can form small community co-ops that will more fully supply our needs than our corrupt government can.
I'm not saying we should all lie down and let them walk all over us. I'm not saying to stop paying attention or stop putting on the pressure.
Fight them if you believe in fighting that way. My fight will be more of a focus on how I can take care of my own self and my family.
There is a shifting away from big centralized governments all over the world. If you've been paying attention you will see that. Yes, there is a plan for a New World Order, this is not new, its been the agenda for a long time now. But there is also a movement that is resisting that and that movement might not be so visible. It's there though.
Maybe we will see chaos and devastation as we have never seen, before things settle into something different in the world. But maybe we won't. Life is a stage, we are the actors, we created this story, this script, both in our collective and in our individual lives.
Focus on what you want the world to be. Not what you don't want from it.
Individually create love and joy in your own circle, your own life and you will ultimately affect the changes you want in the world.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
A metallic grey morning sky slung low across the tops of the distant hills and the cows in the pasture stood like statues. An expectant promise hung in the air as I stood at the glass French doors with coffee in hand, looking out across the cold courtyard toward the row of Arborvitae trees that stood stately to the right, across from the road.
My eyes took in the piles of leaves snuggled into the corners of the wall surrounding the courtyard where they had escaped the winter winds that had recently swept through. At my feet, standing at attention, tails twitching, the cats seemed to see things that I could not. The air was charged, quiet and cold.
And then they came. Only a few at first, blowing about, disappearing as quickly as they appeared. Suddenly the air was filled with a tangle of tiny white specks falling from the sky in a chaotic symphony of silence. The ground received the blanket of snow as if it was a familiar friend and the Arborvitae caught it in clumps of white into their outstretched green limbs.
As the world changed it’s appearance from gray to white, so the snow flakes began to change to larger pieces of lace falling to the ground in surreal slow motion.
Soon the ground was covered and the big, lazy flakes changed again to white flecks, not so profuse, but irregularly falling until finally stopping, leaving me and my cats in peace and soft silence.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Early she comes, sweeping softly across the hills,
Skirts lifted, bare toes just touching the ground.
Herself, coming to rest upon Winter’s crisp brown grass.
At her warm touch, young buds peek out
From the barren limbs of sleeping trees,
And a frigid ground gives way
To the gentle push of Spring’s flowers.
Nature yawns, moves and stretches
As Spring comes to waken the earth
To her glorious morning once more.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
How can I explain to you
How my love seems
To become greater
With each tick of the clock,
Each setting and rising of the sun?
Every line of poetry that I write
Only seems to show the reflection
As through a smoked glass
My deep and abiding affection.
How do I find adequate words?
How do I offer you my heart
When you already have it?
Sunday, February 10, 2013
I don't think romance has to involve two people. Yes, it's nice when two lovers can gaze into each other's eyes and without speaking, see the potential that is reflected. Or if you have a partner that actually takes the time to think about what to do to make you know you are loved and cherished, and creates a special moment for the two of you, then you have found a keeper.
Couples walking down a secluded beach on a brilliant sun-drenched morning, with sea birds screeching and diving into the waves, not talking, just being, is a romantic moment.
When two people enjoy a candlit meal in an intimate restaurant where they tune out their surroundings, the quiet hum of other conversations and clinking of glass and silverware is just secondary to their focus on each other. That can be a romantic moment.
Hiking along a wooded trail, where a rowdy mountain stream shouts its song of eternity out to a pair of adventurers who are sharing a connection to nature, is romantic.
Two parents, sitting down to eat dinner, their chubby cheeked little one between them in a high chair, smiling a one toothed smile and smearing pureed carrots artistically all over the tray in front of him or her, while the proud pair who just created this new family look on with such a swelling of love in their hearts for this future Master Artist, that they can hardly contain their joy. That's a romantic moment.
Loving moments shared between two people that creates joy and fulfillment is romantic and can be appreciated and cherished.
But do you have to have another person present with you to enjoy the romance that fills this world? The answer for me is no.
You can be solitary and still experience the thrill and joy of a romantic moment.
Take that walk along the shore on your own and watch the sun setting. Then sit on that waitng bench along the rock walkway and take the time to see the millions of diamonds dancing along the surface of the still water as the waves gently slap upon the rocks that lie along the bank. See the colors in the sky change from a brilliant blue with white clouds here and there, to shades of pink and orange. Notice the mist on the horizon as it creeps upward and along the crest of a small cliff. Feel the connection to your heart center and be aware that you whole body tingles with the joy of the moment. A romantic moment that you share with Self and be grateful that you can experience that.
Sit in your home reading as you tune your ears in to a conversation your children are having with each other in the other room. Let yourself be distracted by their animation and their fantastical pretending and marvel at their wit and imagination and feel the way your heart softens to their innocence. That's a romantic moment for you to experience and cherish for years to come.
You see, if you limit your ability to see and experience romance until you are with another person to share it with, you will miss a lot of romatical opportunities to give love and romance and happiness and joy to yourself.
So pay attention. And just love and stay there. Rumi said that and I agree.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
And I began to see
the future in your eyes.
And I began to feel
a bigger heart that could hold the world.
and I began to know
all the secrets I thought I had forgot.
And what you see of me
belongs to you forever!
Sunday, January 27, 2013
When I write something that I feel is very cool, or very wise (in my mind) and there is even one single comment that disagrees with my idea or my belief I am triggered to push back or am triggered to angry sulking. I had to ask myself why? Then I had a quick zip back to a time when I was very young and wanting to fit in with my friends. Wanted to be accepted, admired, liked, validated! I remember standing in a small group of friends or sitting at a table, listening to things they would be saying and wanting desperately to be heard. I knew if I could just say something profound I would be validated and I would feel wonderfully accepted. But alas, it was not to be. My ego or my self that was living that experience would be rebuffed, plummeted with laughter or looks of upturned lips in a sneer and my ideas diminished. I could never be heard. This was the experience my ego was living...an experience of feeling invisible. Diminished.
As the adult me, I found the internet and social networking. I could at last put my self taught skill of writing to work to gain my ego the acceptable recognition it believed it deserved. At last, slowly and solidly, I found my ideas acceptable to a wide range of communities. People began to flock to my cyber side to cheer me on, to give me their applause and to laud my so called wisdom. My ego was surviving and flourishing. Wow, what a warm and fuzzy feeling I was giving myself.
Then it began to dawn on me when someone would disagree with even small points of interest, that my ego was feeling itself bruised during those moments and as I said before, would either push back with snippy remarks, designed to put the disagreeable individual on the defensive and do the same thing that I felt was being done to me or just totally ignoring them in a sulky mood altogether. With this action I was insulating myself from those hurt and insignificant feelings of my childhood.
The most important thing to me now in this phase of my life is to let go of this heavy baggage and rise to the occasion of complete and total shifting into the new world that we all desire to move into.
It's very hard for me to admit this to myself, much less everyone else that knows me. But it's important to be helping each other to understand and to remember ourselves, who we really are. All of us are small bits of Source, living life's experiences and reporting that knowlege back to Source, enriching it. So that makes us all VERY significant, regardless, or because of our physical experiences. Since we are all connected, I'm almost sure we have all had this same kind of thing at times, and if we can help one another to feel safe enough to share, then isn't that a step in the right direction?
I don't know anything else to add at this time except to say that when I came to this epiphany, it felt damn good! I even had tears in my eyes.
Love and peace to you all, my friends. :-))
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
A re-post and still relevant to me.
Today I spent some time here, like while I was having coffee, then alternately, lots of time outdoors. The sun was lovely and the temperature was fantastic. I cleaned out some messy flower beds, moved some stuff around and even put up a porch swing all on my own. No plan had formed in my thinking about what chores might need tending to, I was just going on whim, whatever struck me to do at the moment. Then when I tried out the porch swing I began to get these ideas. They came from the joy I experienced when I looked around me and as far as I could see there was nothing but peace and quiet. The bright sun, the cloud lined blue sky, the tiny buds bursting from the sleeping trees, the daffodils waving their fragrant trumpets my way, all conspired together to shout out to me, "hey look here at this wonderful world right before your hungry eyes."
I began to recall all the news stories I had watched on my television over the past couple of months. The unrest in the Middle East, the political upheaval here in our own country, the death of a little girl in our hometown that shook a community to its core. And now the latest disaster in Japan bombards us with news, pictures, videos. All to inform us of what goes on outside our own back yards. Our reality. The reality we individually experience is like the reality of no other person. It is ours, we own it. We create it.
I loved experiencing my world of tranquility. I loved hearing the birds sing, the distant dog bark, a lone automobile crunching the pavement with rubber feet as it whizzed by my house.
What am I to make then of the chaos that is apparent in the world that comes to me via my tv set and my computer? I don't have a stone heart that makes it possible to not care for the trouble others are having. I get just as excited over seeing Egypt win their battle against a dictator as I feel the fear of the people of Japan. But it does not touch me. I still get up in the morning, I drink my coffee, I talk with my Grandarling, or I call my daughters or chat with friends online, I still go to my job, I still eat when and what I want, I still lie down at night in my warm, soft bed and I feel safe.
Appreciatively, when I fix my gaze all around my world I see no war, I feel no earthquake and I hear no gunfire! What is this all about then? That old saying comes into my head. "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear does it make a sound?" If I did not see the conflict in Egypt and Libya on my TV and computer, if I didn't see the earthquake happening in Japan would it still be happening? Of course I believe it would. I believe collectively the people in these events right now are experiencing them but I am not. I am an observer of their turmoil and their grief and triumphs. And I can choose how I will experience it with them. I can lend my energy of peace and love to their situations or I can be terrified and dreadful that the same things are coming to rock my world to its knees. I can be excited when I see the acts of bravery and kindness they show to one another and rejoice and be hopeful for their recovery or I can stockpile supplies and guns and whatever else for my own protection when the disaster hits my paradise. It's all my own choices how I deal or experience the drama the unfolds in the lives of others. And that is powerful.
There is so much we can learn as observers in these events. I see and remember how the Egyptians conducted themselves during their protest. They lost their fear, they co-operated in a monumental way with each other, they showed love and acceptance when the Christians in Egypt protected the Muslims during their prayers and then the Muslims protected the Christians during a memorial service. In Japan there are stories of tremendous courage and grace under pressure. There was one instance when a group of people were picking up fallen goods in a grocery store and re stacking them neatly on the shelves and then stood in line waiting to buy the same food they had just helped to pick up. And 83 year old woman pedaled her bicycle to safety from the Tsunami. A baby was miraculously found. The stories are endless. I am also struck by how the news media is over-blowing some of the dangers but the people who actually are living there are reporting something quiet different. Once again...individual realities differ greatly! I can't get away from that truth.
I don't know where else to go with this. I will simply end by stating I think I'm beginning to understand that will a bit of belief in ourselves....we can create anything. If I have made my world peaceful...how can it be so for others? And how can I keep it that way, or will I even want to?
I have a friend who has been out of work for three years. She has been looking diligently for jobs anywhere she can find to look. Today she interviewed with a company that she believed would be a good place to work. According to my friend the interview went without a hitch. The interviewer and she seemed to "click." As she walked away at the end of the interview, she turned and said to the lady who would be influencing whether she would be hired or not and said, "It will be a pleasure working with you." Her statement was met with a quizzical stare. When she had been home but a few hours she got a call to inform her she got the job. My friend had confidence in herself and it created a magical experience. I'm sure she was more than qualified for the position. But many job seekers are qualified. I think the magic was her confidence, exhibited by her departing statement.
I'm simply attempting to explain that it's time we looked around us and see what we may have individually or collectively created and try to understand why and how we can go about changing it if we no longer feel it's necessary or simply because we don't like it that way anymore.